I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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