I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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