first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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