wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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