I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
