if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dignity is for republicans.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.