K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
