Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
