i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
