Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
