the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
