are you so shy because you have an std?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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