just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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