I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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