So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
