He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
