so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
