he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
