when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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