I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
