There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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