I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
