I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
