im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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