Jerry, you need to find god
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
