I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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