i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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