You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
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I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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