You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
