I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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