i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
