Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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