I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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