what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
