My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
