His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
