You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
