I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
