i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.