Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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