did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
