$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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