why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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