too bad you live with your parents still
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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