Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize