What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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