ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
