I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize