Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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