I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
