if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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