Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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