bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
