Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize