Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
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