i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
